Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Simple Explanation of Forgiveness

  • Everyone makes decisions that affect themselves and those around them.
  • Sometimes these decisions create painful emotions in those affected. 
    • Painful emotions--anger, embarrassment, sadness, fear--always involve a perceived loss of love or fearing loss of love.
  • Forgiveness is a decision to let go of the memes that provoke painful emotional responses.
    • Emotions arise quickly and dissipate quickly, unless sustained through thought. Reviewing painful experiences keeps their associated memes active in your meme bundle. You must detach those memes from your mind in order to quell the emotions. See "Shed Unwanted Memes Here! Now!"
  • Forgiveness is a free-will decision on the part of the offended party; it does not depend upon the repentance of the offender.
    • Here's the logic: Unwillingness to forgive another indicates an unwillingness to reestablish love; unwillingness to love indicates being out of phase with the Universal UC. If one's state of grace were dependent upon another's willingness to repent, then your spiritual progress would be at the mercy of another. This is not possible. Therefore, it is upon each UC to forgive unilaterally.  
  • You will be forgiven to the same degree you forgive others.
    • This is such an important principle, it is stated in the Lord's Prayer: "...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
  • If you are not willing to forgive others, you will not be forgiven.
    • "Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself, for you who judge practice the same things." (Romans 2:1)
  • If you cannot forgive yourself, you will not be able to forgive others.
    • This is a corollary of "The Great Commandment"--you are no more nor less worthy of love and forgiveness than any other UC.


  1. Emotions will dissipate as quickly as it takes for the biochemistry to re-normalize. If the provoking thoughts are not set aside, the emotion will remain. Yes, forgiveness should not depend on the repentance of the offender although it may help. You can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean that you have to like them. I think that dislike is an inseparable part of the unforgiving state. Therefore, forgiveness should include the absence of dislike but not necessarily the presence of like for the offender.

  2. The friend who ran off with your wife, Forgive him for his lust; The chum who sold you the phony stocks,
    Forgive his breach of trust; The pal who schemed behind your back,
    Forgive his evil work; And when you're done, forgive yourself
    For being such a jerk. (Anon in Dear Abby)

  3. Forgiveness, let go, I feel this is the key to be in One peace. Beautiful, I love you...

  4. Wow, this is powerful stuff, Cyd! Thank you for sharing.

  5. Thank you for your positive feedback. I'm so glad for the opportunity to have my writing read.